06 November 2012

Internet Perverts, Part 3

All of the following messages are unsolicited first messages from guys. I am not making this up. Warning: this post is incredibly graphic. So if you're one of my little sisters, stop reading this and go read your Bible instead.

SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS. Who does this? Who sends messages like this to people completely unsolicited? I mean, I can maybe see sending a message like this if someone asked you to send them a dirty message, but just out of the blue? Imagine you have a real okcupid profile and not a fake one like mine, and you log on all happy-like only to discover OH GOD WHY. I mean, COME ON.

Oh, but I did receive an apology from the last guy.


Lawlz. No.

Just say NO, y'all.

Hell of an opening line there, champ. Enjoy your STDs.

kinky art lust party time now?

The blank section in the middle is where they gave me, a complete stranger on the internet, all of their personal information, including address and phone number. I guess you want as many unique art love music creators as possible at your erotic cool kinky art lust parties, amiright?

You and me both, pal.

Many of my friends also wish I would find a nice girl, Alan. 

At least you used the correct spelling of "loose."

Caught in the act

If only I still had the message he sent me.