Viginas revolve around the world.

And I probably do spend to much time on here.

Big muscles, big feelings to hurt.

He didn't enjoy my questions, apparently, because he never messaged me back. Then again, maybe his fingers just finally got too jacked to use a keyboard.

BAHAHAHAHA

I've developed zero tolerance for boring openers.

I've just been getting meaner with time

I like that they're willing to defend our country, but I have never met a guy in the military who wasn't a self-absorbed homo-hating douchebag. Which is not to say they don't exist. I just haven't met them.

Your FACE is bad at math!

It was just an objective fact, really.

A rather mean friend of mine tells me that my ability to be incredibly objective towards people makes me shallow, full of myself, and callous. The callous part I'll accept, but I see nothing particularly shallow or self-inflating in being objective. Apparently this guy is with my friend, though.

[Said friend, I know you'll eventually read this. You're a mean friend. Deal with it.]

I can't make this shit up.

Okay, I totally can, and I do. But I swear I did not make this one up. This guy is actually legit, and that scares me.

Yeah. I'd hate to be that guy's "cousin sister."

Sometimes, I'm just rude.

The last one would have crossed the mean threshold, but their default picture was one of those swirled Photobooth pictures.