I might have actually started to feel bad about these.

I don't often feel bad about any of the amusing but potentially awful things I do, but these two guys made my dormant conscience start to rustle in its sleep.

Guy #1 was just such an easy target. Honestly, I know sarcasm can be hard to pick up on when only seen in text, but I thought it was glaringly obvious in this case. As I so often have been on OkCupcakes, I was wrong.

I had no idea how to dig myself out of this hole, so I took a cop-out. I brought back little Ashley's stepfather.

Guy #2 might be the most gullible person on the internet, but he was still nice and polite, and I just can't really fault him too much because of it. It's possible that my standards are being lowered by this whole thing. Before reading, it's important to know that in my main picture, my hair is quite obnoxiously and not naturally red.

Occasionally, I get a message I just can't mess with.

Chances are this guy is a bag of douche, too, but you know what? He tried. He put effort into messaging my fake profile, which he assumed was just someone being silly but maybe still mildly serious. I couldn't bring myself to mess with him by messaging him back. And he's right, I've gotten many boring messages. I honestly don't know how many more different responses I can come up with to "hi how r u."